I recently started reading Dale Carnegie’s book: “How to make friends and influence others”. A big chunk of the book deals with criticism and why it is a pointless activity.
Here is a list why not to criticize others:
- Criticism is pointless, it puts people on the defensive and makes them justify themselves.
Criticism points the finger: “Who was to blame?”. Carnegie’s answer is: I don’t know and I don’t care!
- Criticism wounds people’s pride and self-importance and arouses their resentment.
- Criticism doesn’t create lasting changes, but can incur permanent resentment
Instead of criticism and condemnation try and understand why someone did what they did – then find a solution.